🌿 Knowing Yourself — and Teaching Your Kids to Do the Same
“Know yourself.”
It sounds simple, but it’s not. It’s one of the hardest things we ever do — and somehow, it’s even harder to teach our kids how to do it.
I’ve spent years trying to understand myself — what makes me confident, what drains me, what helps me connect with others and feel at peace. I’ve learned that knowing yourself isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about being brave enough to keep asking the questions.
🍷 The Versions of Me I Tried to Be
For a long time, I thought I needed to drink to be social.
I wanted to be outgoing, to feel comfortable around people, but instead I felt awkward and overly self-conscious. Alcohol gave me a temporary confidence — it made me feel normal — until it didn’t. It made me feel bloated, sick, and out of control. There was this fine line between “just enough” and “too much,” and I was always tripping over it.
Then came the medications. I tried SSRIs and anxiety meds — they quieted my panic attacks but flattened my spark. My creativity felt muted, my passion dimmed. I missed feeling me.
Over time, I found gentler supports that worked for my body and mind — like CBD. It helps me slow down, connect spiritually, and be more patient — especially with my kids. It eases my anxiety, helps me sleep, and doesn’t dull the creative part of me that’s always reaching for meaning.
Knowing myself has been a process of trial and error — of noticing what helps me come alive and what pulls me away from who I really am.
✈️ Remembering the Parts of Me I Missed
Before kids, I loved to travel. But anxiety and the logistics of motherhood made it feel impossible. Slowly, though, I’ve started to feel normal again. I want to explore more with my family — to show my kids the world and let them see that adventure doesn’t have to end when you have children.
Somewhere along the way, I also let myself go — as many moms do. I stopped caring for my body, my hair, my spirit. Lately, I’ve been making an effort again. Losing weight, putting on makeup, fixing my hair — not because I “should,” but because I want to feel pretty again. I want to feel like me, not just a tired mom running on fumes.
And part of knowing myself again is remembering what fills me — giving back. I love my church and the people in it, but I feel called to serve beyond those walls — to volunteer in the community, to meet people where they are, to love others in small, meaningful ways.
⚽ Raising Kids Who Know Themselves
I think about all of this when I look at my kids. How do I teach them to know themselves — to be confident, kind, and brave — when I’m still figuring it out too?
My Boys
They’re both active and full of heart.
One of them thrives in taekwondo. It’s his passion. He’s tried soccer and football, but they never fit — and that’s okay. Golf has been a new adventure for him, but nothing beats the focus and discipline of taekwondo.
My other son, on the other hand, loves soccer. He joined golf too, mostly to be with his brother, but I can tell it doesn’t spark the same excitement. He also does taekwondo, mostly for the chance to spar — because brothers.
They both have such gentle, giving hearts. My goal isn’t to push them toward what looks good or popular — it’s to help them build coping tools for their emotions, find what truly lights them up, and have the confidence to stand apart when needed. I want them to think of others, but also honor who they are inside.
My Daughter
She’s my tender one. Painfully shy, still figuring out her own rhythm. She tried taekwondo once — her oldest brother even stayed by her side — but she sat in the corner and cried.
She’s slowly finding her comfort zone. Making a few girlfriends, warming up to other parents, finding her voice little by little. She’s so loving with me — I just want to help her extend that love outward, to herself and the world around her.
I remind myself that her pace is hers. Confidence can’t be rushed. It grows in quiet, steady soil.
💬 What I’ve Learned
Knowing yourself isn’t about perfection — it’s about awareness. It’s being able to say:
- “This helps me feel grounded.”
- “That drains my energy.”
- “This choice doesn’t feel like me anymore.”
And then having the courage to shift.
I’ve learned that my kids don’t need lectures about self-discovery — they need examples. They learn by watching me try, fail, rest, and begin again. They learn that it’s okay to be curious, to experiment, to admit when something doesn’t work.
If I can live that truth — even imperfectly — then they’ll grow up believing they can, too.
🌸 Small Meaningful Life
Knowing yourself is a lifelong practice. It’s messy and beautiful and sacred.
It’s not a finish line — it’s a rhythm. Some days it’s loud and confident, other days quiet and uncertain. But every time we choose awareness over autopilot, honesty over hiding, and curiosity over comparison, we take one small step closer to a full, meaningful life.
That’s what I want for me.
That’s what I want for them.
And maybe that’s enough.
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